#10I ve been in Alexandria, I lived in Alexandria
Iswam in Alexandria, I remember the smell of the desert, of the sea,
of the burnt library… of the dark arab child who snatched from my hand my favorite doll, a white baby called Ninica and ran away as fast as his legs could take him…
My Ninica was my only companion in those days of lonely childhood in the desert, I screamed and ran after him as if he snatched my sister not my toy…what would he do with a white baby doll, dressed in pink as a girl. he was a brown boy…I threw chocolates at him…he didn’t stop at first…I still had some chocolates in my pockets…called bajaderas, ex Yu chocolates from Croatia , the best in the world, as our passport was the best in the world, as our Croatian sea was the bluest in the world, like my eyes, not this Alexandria muddy brown sea…The boy was smaller than me, I was his age but a big white lass…I reached him and we fell in the sand. He fell on top of my Ninica, I fell on top of him…chocolates fell out of my hands and pockets: we were panting the chocolates were melting. His face was like that chocolate bajadera, it had layers of brown with layers of white…his hair was short very curly and sweaty, his hands were brown on the top and white inside, pink white, like my face. Were his hands dirty? His sweat smelt good and his bony body was wriggling under my fat white mass.
I took the last bajadera from my pocket and unfolded the golden paper shining in the blazing sun. I put it in his mouth, between his big warm lips: gosh how cute that little boy was.
He looked at me with fear which gave in to confidence and greed. As he swallowed the melting brown into white chocolate I grabbed my white doll.
He didn’t seem to mind, the chocolate was all over his brown face but one could not really see it since his face was brown, i could only smell it. He smelt like hot chocolate with whipped cream.
Suddenly I kissed his silly little face, snatched my white dolll and ran as fast as my legs could carry me back to my parents crib.
That was the first time I kissed a boy.